I see, your parents love you. You’re everything they have. You are the „thing“ they’re really proud of. They have a plan for you. They have best intentions to support you, to guide you. Even, if you don’t ask for it, they give you their advice. They tell you what to say and how to look in different situations, they preach how to behave and what values to live by. For every little problem you (might) have, they write a guidebook on how to solve it. Look at you, you became the poster-child of consistency in appearance and communication. Always dressed properly, always enstaging yourself in the most attractive way.
But your parents don’t understand that you have serious problems finding new friends and keeping your old ones, right? They think, your problems are caused by sloppy clothing or inconsistent messages, right? They don’t understand that your problems are rooted in your inability to act fast, to follow the pace of your peers, to adapt quickly to an ever changing world. You are not allowed to act and interact by yourself. You need their okay, their clearance. They keep on writing guidebook by guidebook. Writing guidebooks is a desperate expression of their „love“. It’s their way of dealing with flux and uncertainty. It’s an expression of fear. An expression of their fear of not being relevant anymore. They are from the last century, they grew up in a „command & control“ world. They just don’t understand that the world has changed and that the days of „command & control“ are numbered.
Kill your parents! They will crush you to death with their love. They leave no space to breathe, to explore the world by yourself. They will slow down your development. They don’t understand that they are on their way to turn you into an „autistic“ child. Everything that doesn’t fit their „weltanschauung“ is perceived as a threat and something that might harm you. Do not believe them. Dare to play, dare to make mistakes. You’re much more robust than you think. You’re not that fragile baby anymore.
Burn your guidebooks! Most of them are worthless. And they were not even written by your parents. They hired ghostwriters who make a living on writing page by page forcing you in a constricting corset. Feeling a little insecure, need some advice? F**k the ghostwriters, get a proper coach. Someone that helps you identify your „inner style“ and helps you to explore how to live „style-conscious“. Look at your peers, ask your friends, trust your intuition. It’s much easier than you think. And it’s liberating, feel the energy. It’s about time to live your life. Your own life, not the one of your parents. Grew up, rock the world!